Age: A mere 44 until further notice.
Superhero Name: Raquel Roundapple or "The Rock" for short
Stretch Factor: 12+
Choice Words: Kanye West will echo her sentiments
Goal: "I hope to get in better shape so I can have more time to brainwash my future grandchildren."
Rachel -- aka Raquel Roundapple -- aka Witty -- aka Smartass is currently in between careers and "considering becoming a ward of the state". However, would she not be mooching off of our tax dollars in the splendor of a padded room, she would consider the occupation of "pastry chef (obviously dependent upon further education)." To her credit, Rachel is an amazing writer. Check out her life on Nevis on her blog, Volcano Life.
She claims to have no cravings when pms-ing other than the Tylenol for the headache "mostly because I believe in a little Daily Chocolate." (Yes!) Approachable? "Not sure I could ever be considered "approachable"...just lucky to have very brave friends." If she's got chocolate I don't care how grumpy she is -- I'll approach. She is most looking forward to "the pancake-fest I am planning for the night before. IHOP, everyone?" Rachel was swimming the salty Caribbean waters off the coast of Nevis long before she set foot back on US soil but says, "I have never been so active as to go so far as to strain, pull, injure or break any part of myself. That would be so dumb!" Rachel -- I mean, The Rock has been working diligently on her "exit strategy" from the pool and I have to say, I give her a 15 out of 10 for style points. If I can capture it on video, it will be posted on YouTube for a test market run while we design DVD jackets for distribution at the race -- maybe pre-race if we really get our act in gear. A how-to video like this could revolutionize triathlons across the country if not internationally.
Rachel is doing the tri thinking "...that my son Alden will be proud of me because he knows what a stretch this is for me, and that I will set a good example for my daughter, Ava, who still thinks I can do anything. This is of course assuming I don't flame out on my [pink huffy] and t-bone a bus." Her stretch factor is a 12+. "(Never did, never wanted to, hate me + hate Brenda)" But we're still friends...for now.
The first thing she's going to do after crossing the finish line is "Borrow Brenda's wrist-mounted satellite phone to call a cab for the 50' ride back to the apres-race party. (Unless I missed the party by a couple of hours, then we'll have to hit the nearest bar and start our own celebration! Bring the on the deep-fried twinkies and navel shots!)" She's so jealous of my wrist-mounted satellite phone. Doesn't everyone have one? And the day our lives became more complete..."I met Brenda in a Starbucks near downtown Raleigh. She was blending in with the hoi polloi, sipping a gluten-free, decaff organic soy chai latte and doing Something Important on her laptop. We took an instant dislike to each other, and have been avoiding each other ever since." Did I mention she's an amazing writer? Fiction. Purely fiction.
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